Being a Strong Family

My daughter Olivia is almost a year and a half and already she mimics everything I do.  If I'm working out, she tries to do the movements, if I clean, she cleans, if I walk to another room, often she is LITERALLY right behind me.  I can't do anything or go anywhere without my little shadow tagging along.  I am coming to realize that soon, Olivia isn't going to be picking just my good habits, but my bad habits as well.  Recent LDS general conference talks have made me think, during the rare moments I get to myself, about being a better person and how to make my family a strong unit in a society that is constantly bashing Christian-thinking and morality.  When we talk about good, better, and best in society, often there isn't a "best" choice and often we are having to choose now between good and better.  My favorite televisions shows always seem to have some words of profanity, drinking, sexual innuendos thrown about casually with some witty humor.  I love these television shows, but I wonder what the effects of watching these shows is having in our house and on Olivia.  I've never been one to completely dismiss TV altogether and I don't think that's the direction I want to head, but there may come a time when I say enough is enough.  I found Boy Meets World playing on the tv this afternoon and I happened to start watching as Mr. Feeny was giving an 11-year-old Cory Matthews one of his full-of-wisdom lectures.

Mr Feeny: (talking about Cory's family, which he has observed as a neighbor over many years) "Their real strength comes from being a family and do you know why they're a family Cory?...Because at one time a man and a woman realized that they loved each other and pursued their unlimited potential at what may come from that love...and here you are... (Mr. Feeny gestures to Cory)  There is no greater aspiration than to have love in our lives, Mr. Matthews."  

As I watched this touching scene, I realized that TV today is lacking in Feeny wisdom.  This kind of conversation would never take place on a modern television show, because as a society we have shifted our views to accept television that has little to no worth.  I am not saying there aren't great shows out there, but what does the kind of television we are watching today say about the people we are today?  Have we become lax in our beliefs?  The reason why I find this conversation so stirring is because I felt it strongly coincides with my beliefs.  Mr. Feeny (although a fictional character) is expressing to Cory what a family is and the strength that comes from a man and a woman who choose to have children.  Now, although Mr. Feeny is fictional, the person who wrote the script is not and that person must have believed and understood how important a strong family is and the components that make up a strong family.  This specific episode took place in the 90's and I can't believe how much society has changed since then.  

We no longer believe in the same components of family that being: a man, a woman, and children.  Now, it seems a family can be pretty much whatever we want it to be.  We all have choices and beliefs that lead us down certain road, but my belief is that no family is a strong as the family that has those three unique components.  I am not going to get into any other types of family makeup here.  I believe every type of family has its own strengths, but the original family type is the strongest I know of.  I have seen this family unit in action through my mom and dad and sisters.  I have seen my sisters' families thrive through hardships and struggles that would break a soul were in not for the strength of their families.  

So how do we become a strong family in this world?  I hear many people say that the world is so bad that they would never want to bring children into it.  I feel that those fears are invalid in my case.  I know, without a doubt, that I have chosen a man who will stand by me through it all, pull me up when I have fallen, and shelter me from the storms.  I can be certain of these things because I wasn't just brought up in a strong family unit, I was also raised in a house where we were taught to love the Lord and to dedicate our lives to Him through our actions and words.  My husband was brought up in this type of family as well, and so I know that together, we will be strong enough to raise our children in a world where moral thinking is crumbling.  The question still remains, how do we become a strong family in this world?

1) I believe we become a strong family by first loving the Lord.  When we take time to strengthen our relationship with the Lord, our families will also be strengthened.

2) Service.  Charity is the true love of Christ.  When we serve our family, we can only strengthen the love we have for each other.

3) Family outings.  I recall vacations with my family and going out to eat with my family and the fun and love we all shared.  I don't remember the stress of getting out of the door or if we had to turn back because we had left a beloved stuffed animal.  All I remember is that it was fun!

4) Making each other a priority.  There are a million things to do in a day with sports, music lessons, and recitals, but when we all show up to support a family member in something that they love to do, it shows that we love them.  

5) Turning to family for help.  Sometimes our trials are too much for us to handle alone and so we need to humble ourselves and ask for help.   

The list could go on and on, but if you have a family that has a mother, a father, and a child, and your family strives to serve God then you are already a strong family unit.  We must remember too, that our family doesn't just involve blood relations, but spiritual relations as well.  We are all brothers and sisters in this life struggling to get by.  Some of us do not have the luxury of having a big family cheering us on.  We must turn towards our spiritual brothers and sisters and help them out too.  We must be there for them and cheer them on.  The goal in this life isn't just to get our own family back to our Heavenly Father.  My belief is that the family unit is the foundation of God's plan to get ALL of his children to return to him and the only way we can do that is to be mindful of those around us and help them feel the love and support they need to make the choices that will guide them back to Heavenly Father.  It's hard to imagine a world where everyone is lifting each other up and where we all love each other as our own flesh and blood, but I believe it could happen.  I believe that we have the potential to expand our love to those around us.  I can just imagine a giant pyramid of people, all standing up on top of each other and helping each other climb to their highest potential.  I believe this is the kind of love we will all have the opportunity to have.  Sharing that love with our families is just the first step to becoming like our Heavenly Father.

Society may have shifted its beliefs, but my beliefs remain the same.  I know who I am.  I know where I'm going, and I know how I'm going to get there.  Now I just need to get my family there and anyone else who wants to tag along for the ride and we'll all be good.  My family is strong and we're only getting stronger.      

         

Dress to Impress...God

Ok, so I have seen a gazillion modesty posts this year, and it's starting to get a little annoying.  I just don't understand how dressing modestly can be so difficult to understand.  When it comes to modesty I think it applies to both women AND men.  Women can dress immodestly by wearing revealing, tight clothing.  Men can dress immodestly by not wearing a shirt in public (not talking about swimming here) or shorts/pants that hang too low.  A man and a woman can both lust after the opposite sex when they are dressed immodestly, but I do believe it is your responsibility to look away (hum your favorite hymn) and to dress appropriately yourself.

What I feel like people are failing to see is what the importance of modesty is:  1 Corinthians 3: 16-17 KJV: 16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? 17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

Here it is folks, plain and simple.  Our bodies are temples.  We are holy.  We are sacred.  We are children of God.  He loves us and he wants us to use our bodies in positive ways. Sister Elaine S. Dalton says this in her talk "Stay on the Path":

Virtue encompasses modesty—in thought, language, dress, and demeanor. And modesty is the foundation stone of chastity. Just as one does not hike trails inhabited by rattlesnakes barefoot, similarly in today’s world it is essential to our very safety to be modest. When we are modest, we show others that we understand our relationship with our Father in Heaven as His [sons and] daughters. We demonstrate that we love Him and that we will stand as a witness of Him in all things. Being modest lets others know that we “cherish virtue”. Modesty is not a matter of being “hip.” It is a matter of the heart and being holy. It is not about being fashionable. It is about being faithful. It is not about being cool. It is about being chaste and keeping covenants. It is not about being popular, but about being pure. Modesty has everything to do with keeping our footing securely on the path of chastity and virtue. 

So there you have it.  Dressing modestly is about "you".  You dressing modestly shows your Heavenly Father how much YOU love him.  Dressing modestly shows how much YOU value the gift of having a body.  (Not everyone was blessed with one.  Want to learn more?  Read the Book of Mormon.)  Your body is a temple.  I know there are those out there who struggle with this concept and who were raised with different beliefs than me.  I know it is not always easy and popular to do the right thing, but let's quit arguing about whether it's the girls fault because she dressed immodestly or the man's fault because he looked.  Let's just get back to basics and remember why we dress modestly in the first place.  My friends, please don't take this as if I'm judging you.  I realize that we do not all grow up with the same beliefs and this post is not directed at anyone to hurt feelings or to make you feel ashamed or angry.  I simply wish to remind you that you are a son or daughter of God and that He loves you!  If you do not know that, get down on your knees or say a prayer in your heart and you will feel his love for you.  Your body was made in His image.  It is sacred.  It is a temple.  Modesty is reflected in your language, in your appearance and actions.  Modesty reflects a desire to be clean and pure.  "The word modesty means 'measured'.  It is related to moderate. It implies 'decency, and propriety...in thought, language, dress, and behavior" (in Daniel H. Ludlow, ed., Encyclopedia of Mormonism, 5 vols. [1992], 2:932).

If there is one thing I wish that you go away with after reading this, it is to feel a little more awe and reverence for your body.  It is a beautiful thing.  Shouldn't we dress ourselves to reflect that beauty? Shouldn't we dress to impress God?     

I think I can...I think I can

I think this week is all about positive affirmations.  Our parents came and visited us from Utah for Jordan's white coat ceremony and we had a blast, but since they've been gone (only for about a day) already I can feel this dark cloud coming over me.  I am sad they are gone.  I am sad I am not with them.  I am sad that I am no longer in a familiar place, with hardly any familiar names, and no close friends.  Getting to know people and places is so much work!  I don't regret moving though.  I'll never regret supporting my husband and cheering him on as he takes his first medical school test (was that today?...Wonder how it went...) and ultimately aspires to become a doctor.

I am reminded of the little train who said "I think I can...I think I can."  That train didn't just "think", but put action to that thought and eventually finished the race.  I "think" I can overcome these things, but I KNOW that faith without action is dead works.  I know that if I put myself to work, I can overcome any obstacle in life.  I could have all the faith in the world, but without proving my faith, it would be for nothing.  As with any trial in our life, we have to just keep putting one step in front of the other.  We can't just sit there waiting for divine intervention.  God gives us the other side of the hill as a reward for climbing up that hill.  So, even though I am feeling down right now, I will continue to try to make new friends and I will annoy Olivia to death with all my hugs and kisses because she's my little buddy right now and sometimes the only social contact I have.

She has been learning so much this past week.  Her Aunt Hannah gave her a baby doll and Olivia loves to try and feed it with the bottle (she gets annoyed that nothing comes out) and loves to give it kisses and hugs.  Before the grandparents left, she took her first real steps with them all!  It's funny that I thought of that Little Train, because speaking of which, Olivia has a train that she just loves to push around and play with.  It's probably her favorite toy!  I know it has helped her develop her walking skills and it amazes me how much she learns and grows each week.  It seems like we are all growing up a little bit more and changing.  Jordan is going to be a doctor, I'm learning how to be a better mom and nurse, and Olivia is learning how to be a toddler.  I started working out last night and it took all of my guilt-tripping persuasive mind powers to get me on that treadmill.  I don't know why I fought it so much because it wasn't bad at all.  I'm doing this 21 day workout program that I found online that will help me kickstart getting into shape.  After 21 days I hope that I will be able to stay in the habit of working out and continue my journey on becoming a healthy person.  This first week I have to keep telling myself to just go do it.  Drop everything and get your workout in.

This whole week will be full of positive affirmations, but I know I can do it.  I know I can make Texas my new home in time.  TTT, Things Take Time.  I can't believe that there will come a day when I will be sad to be leaving this chapter of my life, but I know it will happen.  If I can just immerse myself in my new life, I think I'll have a really wonderful time here.  If you think of us, give us a call or text or a little love note on Facebook.  I know we would love to hear from you.  These last couple of days have been hard, but I will get over it.  There is another side to my hill and I'm nearly there...                    

For the Beauty of the Earth...We're not in Utah anymore folks

I said I was going to post about our trip to Texas and here it is.  We started out our trip July 5th on Friday morning with tearful goodbyes and a prayer that all would go well on this trip and that we could be safe and get to our destination as planned.  We had to make a quick stop to the autoshop that had fixed our AC because there was water leaking into the passenger side.  It was an easy fix and didn't cost a thing and soon we were on our way.  The morning drive was uneventful.  We had just passed through Panguitch when things started to get interesting.  We heard some noise from the car and then suddenly we had to pull over.  There was a bunch of steam coming from the hood of the car, but I knew something else had happened.  It seemed like our radiator wasn't working correctly so Jordan poured some water into it and we had some lunch on the side of the road and, after a policeman pulled over to help, we drove back into Panguitch and found a place to fix the car.  Our car sounded souped up and I could tell that something was wrong with the muffler because I had had this problem before.  We found out that the muffler had fallen off (you could clearly see it dragging under the car) and we drove down the road to a welding shop where they welded it back on for a steal of a deal.  We got back on our way quickly, but an hour or two later we had stopped again because the radiator was still acting up.  Jordan had a feeling we should stop and so we pulled over again into a little convenient store/autoshop.  The guy told us he thought our radiator cap might be bad.  He tested the car for a leak, but couldn't find one and then inspected the cap.  Sure enough, our cap didn't look right and so he replaced the coolant and the cap for a small price.  It was a stressful first day, but after some more prayers and some really helpful people, we made it back on the road without another hitch the first day.  We had had the car inspected before we left for Texas and thought we were in good shape, but there always seems to be something.  Despite our prayers that the car would perform well, it seems that wasn't in the cards for us, but that first day we could see that God was watching over us.  The first time we broke down, we were only 10 minutes away from the shop and the second time Jordan had already passed one place on the road that he could have stopped, but then another place popped up and he had an impression he should stop.  If he hadn't followed what I believe to be the Spirit prompting him, I think it would have been a long time before we found another place.  The rest of the drive was so scenic and beautiful.  We drove near Bryce canyon and past the Coral Pink Sand dunes.  The canyon we drove through had been carved by the wind and it was so smooth and layered, that we just stared in awe as we passed by.  Eventually we made it to Lake Powell.  It was about 5 or 6pm, but we still stopped and decided to get into the lake.  I had never been and the water was surprisingly warm.  Olivia loved it, but our dog Loki, not so much.  It was a nice, relaxing end to a crazy day.  We had surely seen God's hand in our lives and in the world around us and we felt comforted.

Day 2:
The next day we left our hotel in Page, AZ at about 9AM.  We stopped to see Glen Canyon and then we drove for a few hours and finally arrived at our next destination for the day:  The Grand Canyon.  It was 25 bucks to get into the park, but it was a site worth the money.  It looked like it was going to rain, but we arrived at the perfect time.  The sun was still peaking out of the overcast skies and the shadows over the canyon was breathtaking.  It was warm, but not uncomfortable.  As we took a family picture next to a wall straddling the edge of the canyon, Loki jumped up onto the wall and almost fell over it to his death.  I guess he really wanted to be in the family picture.  After viewing the amazing scenes of the canyon, we got back in our car and drove to the Canyon Village.  We stopped a couple of times to see more amazing views and some giant elk that were just sitting on the edge of the forest eating and resting.  It began to rain really hard, but we finally made it to the village.  We watched some movies about the Grand Canyon and just relaxed.  After about an hour or so, we got back into the car and drove to Flagstaff, AZ where we stayed the night.  The day had been perfect and it was amazing to see God's creations.

Day 3:
The agenda on this day was just to drive, drive, drive.  We drove to Lubbock, TX.  The most eventful thing that happened, I suppose, was that we drove through New Mexico and into Texas.  I tasted my first taco at Jack in the Box, which was wonderful.  I don't think I've ever had such a tasty fast-food taco.  We also drove to the Lubbock temple and again felt comforted by the fact that although we were getting further and further away from our family, God was always nearby.

Day 4:
I almost don't want to write about this day because it was so disappointing, but it has a happy ending and so I guess it's worth telling.  We started out the day in a timely manner.  We were going to drive from Lubbock to Fort Worth where we would meet my Aunt and Uncle, but somewhere between there, our car ran over something metallic and our tire blew.  We were forced to pull over on the highway in the middle-of-nowhere and figure out what to do.  Jordan was going to change the tire and use the spare, but to our shock and horror the spare was flat.  My cell was getting crappy reception (I HATE T-Mobile) and I lost contact with my insurance agent who was getting us a tow.  Jordan was on the phone with Pep Boys (we had gotten the tires through them) and was talking to them about getting a tow.  They said they would send someone out to where we were and so we waited...and waited...and waited some more.  They said it would only be 30-40 minutes until they would arrive, but it had been an hour, and even with the air conditioning on, the car was heating up and so were our tempers and stress levels.  It was so hard being packed in a little car in a humid place surrounded by weeds and giant yellow, cricket-like bugs with wings (cicadas) surrounding us.  We had been there so long that my poor bladder couldn't take it anymore and I had to courageously get out of the car and pass through that field of bugs so I could find some privacy to relieve myself.  It's times like these I wish I was a boy.  Jordan called Pep Boys again and it turned out that they were looking for us about 40 miles away from where we were.  We all groaned in distress and worry.  I was in the car, trying to distract Olivia, and I said a quick prayer out loud, pleading with God to help us.  Suddenly Jordan slapped his hand on the window and told me to get out.  I looked at the back of the car and a large truck was pulled up behind us.  I was surprised to find that it was a police officer, better yet, the chief of police.  He didn't look like any police officer I had ever seen.  He looked a little like Kurt Russel, but a lot more tan with a cigar hanging out of his mouth that he continued to chew the whole time we were with him.  His vehicle was covered inside-out with deer-hunting paraphernalia and two giant guns hanging from the inside of his cab and a pair of handcuffs hanging off his steering wheel.  We all piled into his truck without hesitation and he drove us to an air pump where we filled the spare.  He then drove us back to our car and we were soon on our way.  Olivia was very angry at all of this though and was having a loud meltdown in the back.  She wouldn't take food or bottle and the only way I could comfort her was to give her her blanket and stuffed bunny to stroke her cheek.  We drove all the way to Fort Worth on that spare tire and then walked in the hot sun to get some McDonald's down the road.  On our way back to the car we stopped for snow cones.  We didn't have quite enough money for what we ordered and she didn't take credit cards, but the lady simply took some money out of the tip jar and let us go on our way with a smile.  Thinking about this experience now brings tears to my eyes at the simple gesture.  Perhaps God put her in our path as well to give us a small blessing on a day of disaster.  Looking at the whole situation from afar, I can clearly see how blessed we were.  We could have been in that car for hours waiting for someone to help us, and yet, a police officer stopped to help, even allowing us to ride with him to make sure we were taken care of.  This woman gave some of her hard-earned money to us so that we could enjoy the simple, cool pleasure of a snow cone on a hot day.  The tire fiasco had put us hours out of our way and sadly, we were unable to stop at my Aunt and Uncles because it would put us in Houston too late.  We drove away feeling sad, but relieved that we were finally back on the road.  As we got closer and closer to our new home, my downtrodden attitude disappeared as I started seeing greenery everywhere.  Palm trees and rain-forests started popping up everywhere and suddenly we saw buildings!  Tall, bright buildings lit up the night sky and my excitement rose.  I eagerly watched the road, waiting to see what we had been travelling to see and suddenly we were in Houston.  We drove to our friends' place and stayed the night in their apartment (which happened to be in the same complex that we live in now) and the next morning got the keys to our own apartment.

The next week was a lot of shopping for groceries, Shopping for things for our home, and unpacking.  In a matter of days we had transformed our apartment into our new home.  We love the "Texas-sized closets", the pool and work-out room, the fact that Olivia has her own room and finally a crib, and we feel that it is truly a step-up from our last apartment.  We have visited Hermann Park where we saw A Chorus Line for free.  We have been swimming, and had some good BBQ, and we have already been making friends.  We like our new ward already and it seems there will be a lot of friends for us and for Olivia.  It's amazing how everything works out.  If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is to trust in God.  No matter how the situation may seem, it is never impossible if God is on your side and you ask him for help.  I can say that things didn't turn out quite like I thought they would, but we are here in Texas safe and sound and that is really all I wanted.  We had a fun, family-strengthening trip and now we are here in Texas moving on with our lives.  The freeways still scare me to death and although I have a job already, things are still uncertain in the financial department of our lives, but I know we will make it through.  God is with us, so how can we doubt?

How Ya'll Doin'?

It's been a while since I've posted something on here and in the past this place has been mostly dedicated to my writing and a little bit to my family.  I will tell you now that that is all going to change.  As I have anticipated moving to Houston, Texas I realized what a great blessing modern-day technology is to us all.  We have the privilege of speaking to our loved ones over the phone and on Skype and instant messaging.  We are able to talk on Facebook and update our families instantly to what is going on in our lives.  Never have we been so close, yet unable to touch.  I hope that this blog can provide a way for those interested to keep track of our lives and to share in precious moments.  I hope that our relationships will continue to grow and that through my writing you will discover something new about me. I miss all my friends and family dearly, but I look forward to seeing you again!

This is a short post, but I also just wanted to explain my blog title real quick.  If you don't know, my daughter's name is Olivia Jewel.  She goes by many nicknames, but one nickname I am especially fond of is Olive Juice.  When you whisper "Olive Juice" to a person over a crowd it looks like you are saying "I love you", which I find to be very sweet.  Olivia's first syllables of her name when combined also sound like Olive Juice, therefore you get J+K=Olive Juice.  So that's it, folks.  Keep your eyes open for the next couple of days because I plan a writing a post about our trip here and what's happened so far!

XOXO

K