So my last blog post I talked about how I flew on a plane for the second time solo with my two kids. I mentioned that it was the kindness of friendly strangers that got me through those flights and I firmly stand behind what I said. I will again say that I have met far more friendly people on flights than negative and I'm so grateful for my positive experiences flying. I've seen a lot of articles about women flying alone with their kids and there's always some nasty villain in the story and a brave hero (most of the time) who steps in and helps the very grateful and distressed mother. A lot of these articles makes it seem as though there are a lot more people unwilling to help and I just want to clarify, that at least in my case, that is just not true. I want to take a moment to recognize the many men and women who helped me get through the airport in an effort to show that there is such a thing as human decency in the world and I have been presented with it many times, sometimes multiple times in a day.
We flew on four planes this last trip to Utah. My friend Amanda drove the kids and me to the airport and then offered to walk me in and help me get our luggage checked in. When you fly Southwest and you have a lap-sitter, you're required to go through the full-service check in line to check your infant in, making it one more line you have to wait in. It was a bit of a long and hot walk into the airport from the parking lot and I'm super grateful for Amanda's help! It made the beginning of my trip much easier.
Getting through security wasn't easy, but I tried to pay if forward as I waited for my liquids to be checked by TSA, and helped the mom in front of me who was getting searched by TSA, by entertaining her two kids that were with her. She was so good-natured about the whole ordeal that it made me breathe a little easier and realize that if this mom could do it, so could I.
Our flight was delayed an hour and everyone at the gate sitting near me was extremely helpful. They let Romney grab their bags and crawl over to their chairs, they picked him up and played with him. At first I was a little bit of a germ-a-phobe, but my need for the help of others to entertain my children overrode my fears that my kids would catch some random illness from one of these strangers. One older man specifically approached me and asked me what boarding position I was in. He was in A and offered to save some space for me if I needed and said he would help me in any way he could. He seemed to get emotional as he spoke to me and I was really touched by his sincerity and willingness to help. Every person that helped me didn't necessarily fit the bill of a kind stranger willing to help. That man really threw me for a loop, as did the tattooed woman who kept swearing, but was so nice to my children. This lady even held Romm while I ran to the bathroom with Olivia before the flight. I know! Stranger danger! But honestly, we'd been sitting with these people for a good long time, and no alarms were going off in my head. I trusted that all would be well, and it was. They all insisted that I deserved to be in the front of the line since I had two kids and was doing this by myself, but I was in the A group to board and it really wasn't necessary, but they were all on my side. The tattooed lady even stood in my spot so no one would try to push in front of me since I couldn't fit my stroller back to that side of the line.
I'm lucky to have two well-mannered and easy-going kids. Olivia was entertained by her iPad and Romney slept for most of the flight. I can't remember who sat by me on that flight, but I do remember that it was a nice person who didn't mind sitting by a mom with two kids.
Since our first flight had been delayed, we had to run from one gate to the next, even though they were holding the flight for us. I nearly bowled one woman over as I ran past her with my one-seater stroller shoved with both of the kids inside, and she yelled at me and I yelled back behind me how sorry I was as I continued to run...and then ran past my intended gate haha! I saw her again as I walked past and I apologized for my rushed and rude behavior and explained my situation. Immediately her face softened and understanding replaced her anger. She forgave me and I hurried on. The flight attendant held the line as I checked my stroller in so I could board with family boarding. One young girl held Romney so I could collapse my stroller at the gate and not have to put him on the ground.
A young Korean mom with three kids, who were not with her on the flight, sat by me on the next flight and she pretty much held Romney the whole time while he squirmed and struggled to fall asleep. We talked and her company really helped me pass the time. It amazes me when a mom, who is getting a break from her own kids, offers to help another mom and ends up holding someone else's child for the entirety of a flight! It was a nice break for my arms and my mind. When we got to our destination, she walked with me through the airport and helped me pick up all my luggage from the baggage claim area. My sweet parents picked me up from the airport and we were soon on our way to their home.
On our return trip home to Texas, my in-laws stayed with us through check-in and we said our goodbyes and then I was off on my own again. A family helped me get my items through security, and when I failed to take my baby food out of my bag, the TSA lady was really pleasant to talk to while she checked everything. Our first flight was only an hour, but again, another mom sat by me, her kids old enough to not have to sit next to her on the plane, and she played with Olivia and helped her get items out of her bag during the flight because Romney was really squirmy. He wanted to be all over the place and having someone with eyes on Olivia really helped me concentrate on Romney.
Our next (and last) flight was also delayed and we had to wait a little longer. A teenage girl talked with Olivia while we waited and they became fast friends. People spoke encouraging and kind words to me about being a mother travelling on her own with two kids and I don't remember receiving one unkind glance from a person.
We boarded our flight and amazingly we had the whole row to ourselves! The lady in the seat across from me offered to watch a sleeping Romney while I helped Olivia use the airplane bathroom, and the couple behind me played peek-a-boo with Romney from their seats when he'd lean over and look at them through the arm rest space. After we got off the plane, the same couple held Romney and helped me get my stroller set up.
I haven't mentioned everyone who helped me or every little act of kindness, nor can I remember it all, but from my count, well over ten people helped me while travelling with my kids. I personally want to recognize these people and memorialize them in my mind, as they made my travelling experiences so much easier. They helped carry my burdens, brightened my day, and made me feel more confident about travelling alone with my kiddos.
I hope that I can continue to have positive experiences as I travel, which includes the kindness of strangers, understanding, patience, and charity. I know I'll be making many more trips like this by myself and each trip will be different and there will be different people travelling with me. What I don't want, is to give up on expecting kindness from others. Chivalry is not dead and courtesy and kindness have not disappeared from the world. I think what my experience shows is that mothers don't have to fear doing things on their own with their children. I think, generally, people try to understand and truly want to help. Sometimes I think we forget to ask for help and strangers don't always know what you're comfortable doing. I think more people would help if we gave them a way. I think also, that we should always accept offers of help. In that way, it encourages people to keep offering and helps them to feel good about themselves. Kindness begets kindness. We should also realize, that if people are being rude or impatient, that it is their right to those feelings, and in that case, we should take a deep breath and Mom On.
I am happy to report though, that most are sympathetic to the job of being a mom and people are generally happy to help. It helps when your children are cute though, so really play that up! I hope everyone can have good flights in the future, and I promise, that if you're a mom...or a dad, travelling alone with your kids, I'll raise my fist in the air to you and encourage you on, but even more, I promise I'll help make your flight experience with your kids a positive one, so you can keep taking those family trips and so you can feel like the world isn't against you. You'll have a friend and ally in me. It really does take a village and I'm grateful for my village.
