Anyone else here watch Seventh Heaven growing up? I don't know why, but as I was considering a title for this blog post this little line popped into my head from one of the episodes of Seventh Heaven. Sometimes it feels like nothing is changing in our lives and other times, like now, there's so many changes happening at once, you wonder how you'll get through it all.
I'm nearly 16 weeks pregnant with our second child, a boy, and I'm agonizing over what to call him. With Olivia, it was so easy to pick a name. We knew almost instantly after we found out that she was a girl that we would call her Olivia. With this baby, I look at so many names and nothing stands out to me or excites me that much. I don't know what it is, but it seriously bums me out. I really want to pick a name that I love! Maybe my expectations are too high...I guess as long as we have a name picked by the time he's born that will be ok, but I do feel a little frustrated that it seems like nothing fits, like he's not really apart of our family yet. I'll just have to comfort myself with the fact that there is still lots of time to find the right name for this kiddo.
Perhaps the real reason I'm agonizing over picking his name is because I know Jordan will be gone for two and a half months this summer doing Army officer training and an away rotation in Tacoma, WA. We've been apart for nearly a month before, but being pregnant and having a preschooler to chase around in the hot Texas summer heat for two and a half months seems a little daunting. Olivia loves her dad so much and it will break my heart to watch her cry for him. I knew that being an Army wife would be filled with absences and time apart and I told myself I could do it, but I didn't really factor in how it would affect my children. The only way we're going to get through this and every other time Jordan will have to leave us is for me to be strong. I'm lucky I have an amazing group of friends I can lean on and that there is so much to do in Houston. What gets me down is thinking about how pregnant I'll be when Jordan gets back. I'll only have about ten weeks left in my pregnancy and I'll have to go to every doctor visit by myself. Ugh, sorry, now I feel like I'm complaining. I know I need to think positive and just take it one day at a time, but I sure am going to miss Jordan.
Another change in my life is I recently graduated from college and I now have my Associate's Degree and I'm a Registered Nurse! Technically I still have to take the NCLEX and become licensed in the great country of Texas, but after all I've been through with school, the NCLEX feels like a welcome breeze. I seriously hope I'm not tempting fate right now, but I'm so happy this chapter of my life is over. I'm looking forward to being able to spend more time with Olivia and getting back to our usual activities, like cleaning, working out, going to the library, the Houston Zoo, the Children's museum and so many other awesome things! I'm especially looking forward to getting back to reading for fun. I've already read two books since being out of school: Me Before You by JoJo Moyes and Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty. I couldn't put either book down although they were vastly different from each other. I also can't wait to get back to writing for fun. I've had some book ideas sitting on the shelf in my head and I can finally dust them off and get myself back in the writing zone.
So, while there are many changes happening in my life and sometimes I feel like I could be swallowed up whole by the complexity of it all and the myriad of emotions I running through my mind (pregnancy is definitely making me a little weepy), I know that change can be good, even desired. Right now, I'm just praying that Heavenly Father can get me through all of this in one piece and that we will all be stronger for it. In fact, I know we will be stronger!
